That Girl? Yeah she was Crazy

I remember early into my internship when we were still days we got a “psych” call for a middle age women.  That is one thing that made be a bit nervous at that time, because we have no idea what we were about to roll up on (as if we ever do).  The ambulance stops and I get out finding a ghetto neighborhood with people walking out of their small 1000 sq ft unkempt homes to see what was going on.  We kindly asked for everyone to go back inside and if we needed them we would come get them.  We walked towards the home passed over grown grass, two dead trees to an open door; I peered inside to see the middle age heavy set women finishing a whippet(link is explaining what it is).  Then she saw us and invited us in where my preceptor/medic took over because I have no idea what to say.  He said things like how are you today? How many whippets have you done? Do you know why you are here?  She was trippen on all sorts of things.  In the background there was an overwight older man causally doing dishes with his shirt off (you know the normal thing to do when the paramedics arrive) acting as if no one was there, especially the woman, he did not even make eye contact with us as we walked in.  I also remember the overwhelmingly, overpowering smell of alcohol mixed with rotten ground beef and old cat piss in a kitty litter box that was last changed in 1986 (not really).  Then the women looked into my eyes and seemed to look right past me, not able to focus on anything. Then started balling asking if she was going to jail, than began pacing back and forth, stopped then at the top of her lungs used every single word of profanity in the English language.  The old man help up 2 empty bottles of Vodika then pointed at her then went about his business, where then I wondered how she woman was able to even remember how to breathe.  I left to get the monitor and by the time I came back she was throwing herself at my medic in a very sexual way giggling and asking for us to do some creepy stuff to her.  I stopped and was caught so off guard, I was like a deer in the head lights, I asked, “What happened in the 10 seconds I was gone?” with a very puzzled look. I was then told she was a “Rapid Cycler” by my medic.   Happy, Sad, Pissed, Randy,  and Froggy (wants to fight).  I was confused as all get out…

                Finally in the back of the truck we were concerned by the amount of alcohol she consumed and needed to give her an IV to give her medications, and mostly I wanted to give her fluids, and she let us, Few!!

                But just as we finished Dr. Jekyll showed her ugly face and holy crap out of nowhere we were I had her arms pinned to her sides while the medic had her legs and the basic was getting the restrains ready, it seemed like an eternity!! She was trying to bite my hands, wrists, legs, anything.  Thinking back It was quite the adrenaline rush almost like a game to not be exposed to Hepatitis C via human bite J.  She was pinned and restrained (finally) and then she laid into us thick. 

                We then began to transport, where the medic sat behind the patient leaving me to talk to Mrs. Crazy.  Man I realized how innocent I was, the things she was yelling at me and then the things she said she would do to me (which was quite frightening and did not know was even possible) my medic was laughing nonstop at my reactions and responses, so me not laughing was not an option. The whole way to the hospital, I was verbally molested, and then insulted in the most drunken way (she made no sense).  It was quite amusing and just to think she is a voter…

Vote responsibly J

In honer of women, crazy and non.  Here is to second base.  "Hear hear"
#Pinkambulance
#Pin gloves
#Pinkpin
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